A Little Help From My Innards

2005-01-21T13:11:00.000-08:00

sweat

It's hot and she races through the neighborhood, searching for her victim. The sweat rolls down her cheek as he comes into view. "The day is mine," she spits through gritting teeth.
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She downshifts and floors the pedal, flinging her head back to catch the smirk she is sure to throw. She can sense the worried look on his face even though she can only see the back of his head through the rear windshield.
"C?"
"Yeah?"
"This is not funny anymore," he yells flacidly out the open window.
"That depends on whose shoes you're in, baby."

2005-01-13T12:04:00.000-08:00

local

Local weather says it is sunny with a slight chance of heart-break. It is cold outside but there are colder places I know of.

2004-12-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

three

One is the loneliest number. Two can't be as sad as one, nothing is so heavy as one. Three makes for a great night of drinking.

2004-11-11T07:41:00.000-08:00

mold

My position is moldy, my chair is deteriorating. I need to move to the next level of this crazy video game of Life. I need to jump over the killing mushroom men and grab all the coins I can. I need to rip open my chest and show the world my heart and other icky insides.

2004-10-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

borrow

I am living on borrowed hope. Does the happy ending ever come? What about the happy middle that comes before the gripping climax? Maybe just a taste of something sweet. My sour is becoming too normalized.

2004-09-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

vague

I am lost in the vagueness of you. What do you mean when you say goodnight? I can't hear what you want to tell me and my head is slamming against the wall. Or am I just beating my head for no reason?

2004-09-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

faint

My love is not for the faint of heart. I am bold and strong, with a hint of whimsy. I am stubborn and passionate, but I care more than you will know. I am mute, but someday you will hear.

2004-09-10T12:52:00.000-07:00

stereo

Fuck mono. No one needs that. Life should be blaring out on all frequencies in stereo. Grab life by the balls and drag it behind you if you have too.

2004-09-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

reach

I dreamed you were in trouble last night and I could not reach you. I was awake for hours worrying that I may be psychic.

2004-09-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

blanket

I can remember coming home after swimming when I was little, into the air conditioned house while still wet. The best thing in the world was finding a blanket and wrap up, ignoring my mother yelling at us to go change.

2004-09-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

dusk

Night is almost here and you are almost mine. It is dark here in our theater and slowly becoming so outside as we move closer to the climax. We get comfortable in our seats but use any excuse to lean a little nearer, touch a shoulder, look over and laugh. The action rises as dusk falls and kisses the horizon.

2004-08-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

frontier

I don't want something new, I know what I want. Your familiarity is scary and you don't realize it. You are my Sam.

2004-08-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

trivia

Useless to me, I want the reality. Then your trivia will be my truth.

2004-08-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

love

Dammit, why can't you be more perceptive. Or at least read my mind. You slay me.

2004-06-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

giraffe

I find it amusing that the longer you stare at a word the less it looks like itself, giraffe doesn't look right. But I suppose that is the truth with anything. Nothing is ever as it seems and nothing ever stays the same.

2004-06-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

cardboard

I rest upon cardboard but it doesn't hold my weight. The things around me have given up and I am only slightly holding on. Rarely do I touch the outside and I want to feel it deep and leave it all on the floor. Thats what he told me once and I wish he would say it again.

2004-06-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

firm

I don't have a firm hold on life. I am so angry I could vomit. I will stab the next person that is nice to me, I will rip your flesh with my teeth.

2004-06-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

gray

My eyes gray from not seeing you. My skin grays from the lack of your touch. My thoughts gray as I wait for your reply. It has been a while and I need a word, any word of yours. Even just a sound, sometimes you would just leave me with sounds, we never needed meaning. Meaning is for philosophers and philosophers we were not. We were colors and sounds and skin.

2004-06-04T06:50:00.000-07:00

doctor

Last night I lied on a table, chest wound gaping. No doctor could solve my problem, I just haven't heard from you in a long time.

2004-06-03T09:26:00.000-07:00

exchange

I can still taste and smell the Jack. Do others sense what is going on or is there just an exchange of courtesy and people go about their day. Last night I messed up... and I meant to. Last night I wanted to feel it all and I still feel it this morning.

2004-05-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

sour

Mood. Don't talk to me. My cavities need filling.

2004-05-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

after

What will happen after we kiss? Will you ever speak to me again? Will we live happily ever after? Will I run away with your father just like in a soap opera or Jerry Springer episode. I have no idea but I hope I find out.

2004-05-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

beam

I work in a cubicle. It is no more or less confining than being hung out on the edge of a steel beam with my desk. I sit in the same position for 6 or so hours a day and when I think about moving am reminded that really there is no place to go, but the view is shiny.

2004-05-04T13:02:00.000-07:00

raise

Guess what? I need a raise. This is not a good story but damnit I am a good worker and I get paid less than everyone else here with no benefits and I am tired of it. Maybe this is not the place to complain but that word asked for it.

2004-05-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

synthetic

I am only here for show. This is not me and I am not doing this. My smile is synthetic and my components are plastic. The only sounds you will here or clicks and rings, maybe a life-like voice that issues an automatic greeting.

2004-04-30T12:42:00.000-07:00

match

One small match, one small spark. It was quiet but I heard what they said and I shared it with all that I could. I would have shouted it if my voice would have carried but as hard as I strained I couldn't reach the ones that needed it, the ones that mattered and now we are alone.

2004-04-29T13:14:00.000-07:00

slam

My head moves back and his face moves instictively up my neck. My back slams into the wall and his body impacts mine. We tear clothing and rake skin trying to get inside each other, nothing is left un-felt.

2004-04-02T14:56:00.000-08:00

playground

My playground is old. The swings are rusty and the slide feels like sand paper. When I fall there isn't soft rubber, it is concrete and broken at that.
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The children don’t have fun, the parents have become annoyed and I can’t get anyone’s attention. There is a little girl sitting on the ground with a scraped knee and all she needs is a band-aid and I can’t get anyone’s attention. Why can’t you hear me?

2004-03-01T16:57:00.000-08:00

worthless

This morning is worthless. I need to be home knitting and not sitting at work waiting for my phone to be fixed so I can actually work. Waiting is worthless, do it now, don't care how, I want it now.

2004-02-27T10:47:00.000-08:00

crept

I crept out of bed this morning, a little too late if you asked me. I had to pack Tony in a bag and find my pants. Finding my pants is always harder than it should be. I am not sure that I will make it on time if I am supposed to do something important. Nervousness makes the body move slowly.

2004-02-19T15:09:00.000-08:00

assign

Assign looks too much like ass. I always thought it was funny when a teacher would abbreviate assignment on the board in elementary school. But profanity is great when you are little. Haha.